Snow Day

One day last week I had an experience that really underscored the difficulties of living with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder or Multiple Personalities) even without all the memory issues and flashbacks. (We are for the most part past those.)  If you haven't read my blog before, I am the main protector of the system, we are female and I am also female though I am NOT girlie.  I have some male parts who integrated with me and so I like self defense, martial arts, cars, etc.  No sports though.

We were awakened by a very excited eight year old who was hoping it was going to be a snow day.  It had snowed all night and there was snow, but school wasn't cancelled so we got our disappointed daughter ready for school and began the trip.  We live some distance from the school because the school right near us has a lot of bully issues so we commute our daughter to a better, safer school.  On days when the road is messy though this isn't so easy.

I am the one who usually drives, however, just about everyone in the system CAN drive.  This doesn't mean it's always a good idea depending on how distracted everyone is and so usually I find myself doing the driving.  I like driving, I'm really good at it.  I have the best reflexes and I know machines.  (I have even flown a plane - just once but still, it was cool.)  This day though our daughter was having a bad morning and our main helper wanted to be out to help her talk through some of her issues and then our main wanted to be out to nurture her.  They usually make a good combination and I can usually still drive.

The roads were bad though and after our main person got distracted looking at how pretty the snow on the mountains was and we nearly fishtailed into the next lane of traffic, I found myself the only one out.  I got us safely to school and I finished talking to our daughter the best I could.  As I walked her to the school I had a bad feeling about letting her go, but the other two came out to give her a quick kiss good bye each, and then I stood in the swirling snow and watched her walk into the school feeling as if part of me had been torn out and not understanding why.

I turned around and made my way home.  Alone.

It's been a long time

I'm so sorry that it's been so long since any of us had posted anything.  I/We have forgotten all about this blog due to the crazy hectic life involved with being a multiple, raising a daughter, being married and trying to be an artist!

At any rate, I am so appreciative of the comments that have been left and I'm so glad that our site has been helpful to some.  We will start posting again and hopefully not forget again!